journaling then and now – the rock

Today, while perched on the edge of a jagged cliff that dropped into the bluest of oceans, I was captivated again by the choreographed rhythm of the waves.  At times they gently rolled across the ocean surface like blue agave, yet a moment later they almost appeared to be chasing one another toward the finish line located along the jagged rocks.  Each and every time I gaze upon an endless ocean that is serenaded by a symphony of rolling waves an amazing thing transpires.  The constant decisions, demands and disappointments of life are quickly replaced with something beautiful, peace and clarity.

Today, was no different.  A single, gentle thought found a voice in the silence, “I wonder when the beauty of the ocean became such a place of peace and clarity for me?”  I had only rolled it across my brain a few times when I quite suddenly remembered something long forgotten.  I guess I could say, in the quieting of my life I hear about my life.

You see as a child I lived on a small island in the Florida Keys.  Across the street from our house was an empty lot void of grass, but covered in white coral rocks that increased in size as you approached the water’s edge.  This empty lot afforded us the most breathtaking, unobstructed view of the ocean.

Countless times throughout my childhood in moments of pain filled despair, I would flee across the road, and climb a particular rock I later named, ‘Wendy’s Rock’.  I know, I know not at all very creative, but adequate and appropriate in the rock naming world.  Anyway, I would often sit weeping with my back turned away from our house, and stare for hours at the thin silvery line where ocean and sky blend from two to one.  As I struggled to envision a future without tears, ‘Wendy’s Rock’ became my secret place that was neither hidden nor secret.  Sitting on that rock, as I watched the movement of the water, and stared into the horizon, for a few brief moments I felt a peace and hope that one day things would be different in my life.

So to answer my question, as an adult the sense of peace and clarity that I obtain at the ocean’s edge, I now remember began when I was child sitting with my back turned symbolically away from a painful world so I could focus my sight toward the possibility of a different future.


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